Do you ever feel like sometimes, our feelings are like a normal distribution graph (wtf -.-) there's like super happy times and super unhappy times.
And there are also times when you just feel like something is going wrong but you dont know what the hell is wrong.

Well, i am feeling both of that now. and trust me its not the world's best combination.

Today, i called up two of my closest friends that i have in Secondary friends. Both conversations ended weirdly. We always say that we would want to maintain this friendship till we are old but now i have to think: will that really happen?

Sometimes, i guess i can be pretty selfish at times. I was being a brat yesterday, throwing tantrums the whole time and my dad and sister had to suffer throughout the whole unpleasant behaviour of mine. But basically, other that a few words from my sister, they didnt exactly complained. And it made me feel even worse.

There are often times when i somehow just feel left out and even though deep down, i trust these friends of mine, i would still feel lonely and some times even pissed at them because it just feels like I am the only one not moving on when all of them have managed to make firm friends no matter where they go. Am i jealous? Maybe.

I guess i am the only who's not moving on, still living in the same time zone where all of us could still meet up every day. And looking back, i have often wondered whether i have taken all of their friendship for granted and not treasuring it more.
I dont know.

What the hell is happening to me.